Identifying Individual Coping Styles in Stress and Crisis:

Avoiding or numbing emotions instead of expressing or processing them.
 

Example: Smiling through every appointment or treatment update while secretly feeling terrified, but never opening up about it—even with your partner. 

Pulling away from loved ones, support systems, or social interaction to avoid vulnerability.

Example: Spending long hours alone in the bedroom or garage after hard news instead of talking to your partner about how you feel. 

Using alcohol, drugs, or even food to escape, self-medicate, or feel in control.

Example: Having several drinks every night to “take the edge off” instead of addressing the underlying fear or sadness. 

Using busyness to avoid emotions, relationships, or internal reflection.
 

Example: Volunteering for every task at work or home so there’s no time left to slow down and feel what’s really going on. 

Pushing others away, starting arguments, or refusing help due to fear of rejection or unworthiness.

Example: Telling your partner “You wouldn’t understand” or starting a fight before an emotional conversation even begins. 

Criticizing yourself harshly, reinforcing shame and feelings of failure or inadequacy.

Example: Thinking, “I’m just a burden now,” or “They’d be better off without me.” 

Ignoring symptoms, skipping appointments, or resisting support due to fear, shame, or denial.

Example: Skipping therapy or doctor visits because “it won’t help anyway” or “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

Engaging in unsafe sex, reckless driving, or financial impulsivity as a form of control or emotional release.

Example: Making a large, impulsive purchase during a fight or driving too fast after a stressful day. 

Cutting, burning, or other physical self-injury as a way to cope with emotional pain.

Example: Harming yourself to “feel something” or release emotional pressure when words fail. 

Using food restriction, bingeing, or purging to cope with stress, trauma, or body image issues.

Example: Skipping meals to gain control over something, or bingeing during moments of emotional overwhelm. 

Putting others' needs before your own at the expense of your well-being, often to avoid rejection or maintain approval.

Example: Saying “yes” to every request even when you're exhausted, just to avoid disappointing someone.

Delaying important tasks or success due to fear of failure, inadequacy, or change.
 

Example: Avoiding important paperwork or health decisions because part of you believes you’ll fail or don’t deserve the outcome.

A: That’s okay. Coping styles often differ, especially under stress. The goal is to honor each other’s process while creating space for both connection and independence. 

A: Boundaries are key. Set time for yourself daily. Share caregiving duties when possible. Prioritize emotional connection—not just logistics. 

A: Emotional withdrawal, irritability, shutting down, over-controlling, or unhealthy substance use. These are protective—but healing starts with awareness and support. 

A: Pause. Ask, “What’s really going on for me?” Then reframe your response with curiosity and empathy instead of assumption or blame.